I once cut Dustin Pedroia and his wife in line at Peachwave because they were running dangerously low on the good toppings. It’s that kind of primal instinct that puts me at a 60% chance of survival during the apocalypse.
When I was in 6th grade I was kicked out of Girl Scouts for being too rowdy. Truth is, I think they were really just mad I was eating the Thin Mints instead of selling them. Their loss was my gain (12lbs to be exact.)
That’s me and my dog, Mickey. He is 70lbs and if he fits, he sits.
For references, work stuff or to hear the riveting story about the time my grandmother and I met Pink in an elevator: firstname.lastname@example.org